I dunno...

There is nothing like the questions of a 3 year old to make you feel like a complete idiot. At least there is nothing like the questions of my 3 year old to make me feel like a complete idiot.

These are the questions Elijah asked me today...

"What's a spark?"
Okay. We all know what a spark is, but how do you explain it?
And what kind of spark? The spark that starts a fire, or the spark between 2 people?

"Are there germs on this?" (pointing to his cucumber slices)
"Probably" I say.
"WHAT?" he asks with a very startled look on his face.
And then for the millionth time he asks me what a germ is. I've obviously done a poor job of explaining it to him.

"Where does this water come from?" (while washing his hands).
I explain it comes from a water tank in the house and goes through pipes in the walls and floors to get to the faucet.
"But where does that water come from?"
"Um....big water cisterns, maybe. Or a big water reservior."
"Where?"
"I don't know. Somewhere in the city."
The scowl on his face shows me my answer has not satisfied him.

"Why do I have bones?"
Try explaining that one while helping your 3 year old go to the bathroom at Safeway while your 1 year old is standing up in the stroller and screaming because he dropped his soother on the bathroom floor.

"What does dead mean?"
Uh, do we have to talk about this?

"Mommy, why do they call it the Monster Jam?"
Um....uh....good question! Why do they call it the Monster Jam?

Consequences

Today I went and picked up a few groceries with my kids. On the way home 3-year-old Elijah informed me he was thirsty. This is how our conversation went:

Elijah: I'm thirsty!
Me: Okay, we'll get a drink when we get home.
Elijah: But I'm thirsty NOW! (getting angry)
Me: But I don't have anything for you to drink in the van. You'll have to wait until we get home and then you can have a drink.
Elijah: But I need a drink NOW!!!
Me: There's nothing to drink in the van! We are just a couple minutes away from home.
Elijah: (pointing his finger at me and looking at me with a very stern face) Wait! Are you telling the truth or are you lying?
Me: I'm telling the truth!!
Elijah: Stop saying that! If you don't stop saying that there will be consequences! Capiche?
Me: (while laughing) Capiche!
Elijah: (calmly now) Good!

C / S !!!!!!

Today was a good day for me.
I really liked today.
I liked the way I felt.
I felt lighthearted.
I had a skip in my step.
My face looked bright and relaxed.
I felt like my eyes and my brain were smiling.
I felt good.
Still do.
So good.

If you were to drive by our house, I'm sure you would see the bright yellow "C/S" on our "House For Sale" sign. I can't say for sure, because I haven't been to our house lately, but I'm sure that bright and cheery sticker is on that depressing sign.
As of yesterday, our house is Conditionally Sold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like screaming excitement!

We closed the deal early evening yesterday. And the only conditions are the buyers financing (for which they are already pre-approved for) and the house inspection (which our house already had in September, and passed with flying colors) which need to be fulfilled by January 29th. So it feels like a done deal.

The possession date is March 14th. THIS YEAR!! It feels very surreal.


After 6 months of riding a rollercoaster of hope and hopelessness, excitement of possibilities and discouragement, I am ready to get off.

We have had one special condition on our house, which fell through in October when the potential buyers gave up on selling their house.

We had one couple love our house but said there was no way they could buy it (and I ask, why were they looking at houses out of their price range in the first place?).

We had another couple almost put an offer on our house but then another house came on the market and they liked it much more and snatched it up, dropping our house in the process.

We had another couple who wanted to buy our house but had no downpayment (again, why look when they can't buy?).

We had another couple say they were going to put an offer on the house, they just had to talk to the bank (argh with the people who don't get pre-approved!!) then we never heard from them again.

We had someone else put an offer on our house and our realtor advised us to not even look at it because it was ridiculously, almost insultingly, low.

We had another couple negotiate price and conditions with us, conditional on the sale of their house with a May 2008 possession. So once again, this translates into a special condition on our house. We only came to a verbal agreement with them, and the day that our realtor was writing up the offer, this other offer came in and plowed their offer right off our table, even though they were offering less money.

And inbetween this all we had dozens more showings, especially in December and the first half of January.


I am tired of living out of suitcases.
I am tired of relying on the goodness of other people to provide us with shelter.
I am tired of moving every month.
I am tired of feeling hopeless and discouraged.
I am tired of not knowing when this situation was going to end.
I am tired of not feeling any permanency.

I am excited to look for our new home.
I am excited that I know we will have our own place in about 2 & 1/2 months.
I am excited to live with my own things again.
I am excited to have that settled, permanent feeling.
I am excited to unpack and find a place for everything.
I am excited to have people over to my home.
I am excited because I feel hopeful and uplifted.
I am so excited!!!!!
So excited!

Thank you God!

Six Months and Counting

No. Our house has not sold. That is why we are still counting.

I'm tired of people asking. I know that everyone just wants to know. They want hear the words that I want to say. I'm at the point where I won't even be excited when our house sells. I actually won't believe it until the end of possession day when the money has crossed hands because I'm sure everyone who looks at our house just wants to give us false hope and then screw us over, offering us offers that our realtor refuses to write up because they are so freakin' ridiculous and would not afford for us to be able to get back into the market, or else saying they will come with an offer after they talk to their bank. Right-O.

I swear once our house sells, no one will know what to chit-chat with us about. For a while it will be, "How's your new house?" "How's the move going?" or "How are you settling in?" and then I'm sure people will just approach us, mouths open, ready to say something, and then draw a blank.

I must say that I have become ultra flexible through this all. I mean, I'm a pretty flexible person anyways, but now I'm ultra flexible. You could even say that that's one of my superpowers now, like that stretch-girl from The Incredibles, what's her name? Elasti-girl? Totally flexible. And now is when you hear my low chanting "Try to see the good. Try to see the good. Try to see the good. Try to see the good."

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Merry Christmas!!!

Elijah and Toviel got to visit with Santa this Christmas season.

(Toviel was unimpressed. And a little freaked out.)

If you look closely at Santa and his round rosy red cheeks you can probably tell who it is. :)

We wish you a very merry Christmas!!

Kitchen Splash!

Pictures of the boys in the kitchen sink, as promised.

(Our lives seem so ridiculous to me right now.)

Talk about making memories!

Return of the blogger

I know, I know. It's been over 3 months since I've written. I'm sure people have stopped coming to my blog, tired of being faced with the same ol' last entry from way back when.

Regardless, I have decided to return to my blogging. I wanted to wait until I had a sense of permanancy in my life, but it is apparent that that may take a thousand years, so I am abandoning my hope of stability and attempting to return to my blogging while my life is in complete chaos. Not that I have any great bloggable material, so don't get your hopes up.
Great hope brings great disappointment.

I am currently homeless, and have been for the past 3 and a bit months, in Edmonton. It's not that we don't have a house. Au contraire. We do. We have this huge house that we are trying to ditch just outside of Calgary, but no one wants to buy it. Part of it is because the market is so soft and prices are dropping like flies (including our home that has come down $80,000 in the past 5 months) and part of it is because the universe hates me.
So back to Edmonton....we aren't homeless as in living on the street, but we don't have a permanent home and we are living out of 4 suitcases, jumping from one person's basement to the other trying to stay together as a family. The generosity of people we have met in Edmonton is staggering and I don't feel bad in saying that people in Edmonton are a thousand times nicer than people in Calgary, even though Edmonton has the second highest crime rate in all of Canada. I am struggling with this lack of "home" and despair over our house not selling. I am now settling into a discouraged mode of being convinced our house will never, ever, ever sell. Or at least that's what I tell myself. The truth is that every time Cris' cell phone rings (which is a lot) I instantly think, "Maybe it's Malcolm telling us we have an offer!!" but I don't say it because for the past 5 months I've had immense hope and it has gotten me no where and I don't want Cris to think I'm as flighty as I am (don't read that last sentence, Cris).

We are settling into our new church family and enjoying that whole process. We are still in the honeymoon stage though.
It's funny how one can be so jilted and promise oneself to never trust another churchy human being to be genuine and truthful with them and then be thrust into a new life with new people and run at them with open arms saying, "I love you! I love you!" I guess I'm so naive. It's probably my parents fault for showing me unconditional love that makes me think that people are innately good.

That is, in a nutshell, where we are now.


Things I like about Edmonton and our situation now are...

1. The whole family has to sleep together in the same room in the same bed. I'm a huge advocate of shared sleeping with your children. Cris has warmed up to the idea, but still likes his bed to be kid-free at night. Here he has no choice so we never argue about it.

2. We are making some mighty strong relationships mighty fast as we are living with people we may not otherwise ever connect with.

3. The space I am in charge of to keep clean is 300 times smaller than our house in Redwood.

4. We have cable tv for the first time in our married lives.

5. I don't have to drive half an hour to get to the grocery store and then another half hour to get home.

6. We qualify for the Leisure Access Pass which gives us free admission to all the City of Edmonton run recreational things, like the zoo and some of the swimming pools. Let's hear a woot-woot for being low-income! Now if we could just get a permanent Edmonton address so we could actually get these passes!

7. People here rock. And people close to here rock as well, like people in Camrose.


Things I don't like about Edmonton and our situation...

1. Obviously I'd like to be living with our stuff in our own place not worrying about where we will go next and what we will do if there is no next place to go to. I hate that Elijah misses his house and his toys and his space and cries about it a few times a week.

2. Edmonton has ugly powerlines and powerstations all over the place and the city planners should all be fired and all the retired city planners should be required to pay back 100% of their salaries.

3. Every Wednesday the city smells like poop. No joke. And occassionally other days as well.

4. The Parent Link Centers here absolutely suck.

5. The roads are in pretty bad condition. And I want to know what is up with all the construction horses. The City has some facination with putting these horses up in abundance in places where only one or sometimes none are needed. And a lot of the time it looks like a plane just flew overhead and dumped them on the ground. Come on people! At least put them up in an orderly fashion, neatly. It stresses me out to see fifteen contruction horses placed willy-nilly all over the road because it looks like something major is happening up ahead, but when you drive past you see that the only problem is that there is a chip out of the sidewalk.

6. I hate paying $1400 a month (sometimes more on those three-mortgage-payment-months) for a house that we aren't even living in and subsequently being unable to afford a place to rent, thus becoming a total mooch and relying on people to house us for free.

7. I have to bathe the kids in the kitchen sink. They like it, though, so it's not all that bad. (I'll try to post pictures)


I'm sure there's more to add to both, but I try not to dwell on the negatives too much because, well, that's just negative. And I try not to dwell on the positives too much because in a year from now when our house is still on the market, we may decide that we just can't do this anymore and move back to our house. Or I might end up in a looney bin crushed from stress and heavily medicated (been-there-done-that) and although that wouldn't be too too bad in itself, it would be horrible simply because I couldn't stand to be apart from my kids and my husband.

Ramble. Ramble. Ramble.

Oh well, it's not like I'm forcing you to read this you know.....

;P